sometimes i long for the ability to express emotion with ease. i am so scared to share the true beauty and depth that i feel. so i push those who show interest away, they frighten me so. and yet this behaviour that contradicts everything i aim to achieve, is my default. often times i catch myself deep in this sea of my own creation but unable to reach the life craft of reason and i drown.. only to wake up and realize that it was a dream, that i can reach the raft.. but only if i try. and sometimes trying is harder than giving in, something i have learnt much about in the last few months. sometimes the labrynth holds more benefits than the road.. so i fight with the currents and swim up to the surface, sometimes moments to late and i am left tredding water; though i know i am strong enough to hold my ahead above water until another ship sails by.
i grow tired of the constant ill of these seas. one day i wish to dive in and swim at peace with the corals and currents. one day i will do just by me.
the water, the water came to realize it's a dangerous size..
